Hello, February! Whether you love Valentine’s Day or hate it…get ready! Personally, I love heart-shaped cookies, and I’m looking forward to making them with my son and his girlfriend. (Luckiest mom ever!) Which reminds me–I need to find a frosting recipe that tastes better than royal icing, but dries a little so the cookies don’t get smudged…
Anyway, if you’re wondering why it’s been so long since I posted, I fell into the pit of despair. It happens. I’m climbing out! Maybe you can relate?
But as I scaled the walls and paced a groove in the floor, I discovered a few self-lovely ways to be kind to myself. Then, as I was pondering newsletter topics this morning (sign up here if you want to be the first to know about my book news), I decided to share them. And to ask you if you’d like to share YOURS.
After all, you never know when you’re going to need a little boost–or where you might find it. If you’ve got a good tip, share it in the comments or find me on FB. I’m going to do a round-up for my next newsletter. Let’s share the self-love! As we’ve learned in a myriad of ways these last few years, we’re all in this together.
Need a boost? Try one of these 10 ways to love yourself better:
- TAKE YOUR VITAMINS. For some reason, I tend to forget on weekends or when I’m feeling blue. Is it subconscious self-sabotage? A break in routine? Who knows, but I feel better when I take them, and maybe you will, too. Be good to yourself.
- USE EXTRA LOTION. If your inner world takes a dive, you might as well pamper yourself on the outside. A nice rub and showing some love for the bod that carries you around in the world might change your state of mind.
- BREATHE. OMG I’ve been doing yoga for over a decade. I breathe ALL the dang time. Intentionally. Deeply. But last week I caught myself holding my breath at my desk…and I think maybe I’ve been doing it for a year. And breathing in my chest not my belly, which can lead to feeling anxious. I love Yoga with Adriene and subscribe to her app, but she has two incredible “Yoga for Anxiety” practices that are free on YouTube. Both of them start with alternate nostril breathing, which chills me out EVERY TIME. This simple 16-minute Yoga with Adriene practice is great before bed. This 30-minute practice is a little more advanced (hello, warrior three), but it will get you out of your head.
- DRINK TEA. Or whatever floats your boat. I like Yogi brand Honey Lavender Stress Relief (soothing serenity blend). Maybe it’s the ritual. Or the herbs. The heat? Dig in to whatever grounds you, and reach for it when you need it.
- FILL A LARGE CONTAINER OF WATER IN THE MORNING. Hydration is essential for good health, and I always drink more water when I fill up my enormous water bottle in the morning. I can’t count on myself to fill up eight individual glasses of water every day, but if it’s already there? Glug, glug, glug. Maybe it will help you hydrate, too.
- CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF. I’ve tried a bunch of different things to chart my emotional progress during this challenging year. This 3 Minute Positivity Journal is pretty cool. But journaling in the morning is my current go-to. I write down my wins, the things I’m grateful for, and things I’m trying to remember. When I do this, reading over the week makes me feel good. I learned the hard way that writing down what was troubling me every day made me feel worse when I read over the week. Framing your day, your week, your life, your SELF positively can make a huge difference!
- EAT DARK CHOCOLATE. Science backs up the happy-making effects of dark chocolate! The catch: it only takes a half-ounce, so we can’t use that as an excuse to eat the whole chocolate bar…at least not every day. But if you like chocolate, eating it can have positive physical and psychological effects. YES!
- REACH OUT TO A FRIEND. I’m grateful to have a few people I can count on for companionship (via text or whatever) on good days, bad days, and every day in-between. Just having someone know my state of mind makes me feel better. And staying connected with friends gives us the opportunity to be there for them, too, another mood booster.
- BUY THE GOOD SEX TOY. MANY years ago, a wise friend and I went to an upscale adult toy store, and she splurged on a vibrator with a price tag that made me blink…and blink…and blink. I’ve replaced a half dozen of my cheapo “BOBs” since then, and you know what my wise friend says about hers? “Worth every penny.” Oh look, they’re having a Valentine’s Day Sale… YOU ARE WORTH IT. I feel like this article in Vogue magazine was written just for us! Appreciating the Orgasm as an Act of Self-Care. YES!
- FIND A NEW BOOK. As a lifelong reader, I NEED to know what I’m reading next. Distraction is a great way to weather rough patches in life. (Full disclosure: I also discovered a few new TV series that made life better. The Morning Show. Minx. New Amsterdam. I also watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies again LOL.) I ask friends for recommendations, check out my Bookbub recommendations, read Smart Bitches Trashy Books reviews, and troll the Libby app for library options… If a new book gives you a mood boost, don’t deny yourself the pleasure!
So there you have it! 10 ways (and there are more, trust me) I’ve learned to love myself better. Have you got a good one? Something you’d like to share in case it gives someone else a much needed boost? Leave it in the comments or find me on FB. I’ll get a longer list together, and we can help each other rise above the pit of despair–and love the hell out of ourselves!
Amanda Usen 